Battolgical
by Solariaa
Summary: Chronologically the first part of my 'Battolgical'. Part of a collection of stories about Merlin going through life as an immortal after Camelot. Years after all of his friend are gone Merlin meet some very familiar faces in a small border town.


**OKAY! Insert normal disclaimer stuff here, Done!**

 **MOVING ON!**

 **Hello there, just a quick note before you start reading, this is the first part of what I'm now calling** **'B attolgical'. It a whole collection of stories about Merlin going through life after Camelot, this one takes place years after the show 'Merlin' would have ended and amuses that because of his magic Merlin is ****essentially** **immortal.**

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If Merlin were to describe his life in one word he would say ' _Battolgical_ : _a wearisome repetition of words either spoken or written_ '. He would say this because his life felt like the favorite bedtime story of a small child. One demanding it be reread every night even if the child could recite the words by heart.

Merlin had lived his life growing close to brave men and women. He fought with them, loved with them, and hurt with them. Merlin cheered Arthur on in all of his quests; from this Fisher King to Guinevere's heart, Merlin was there. When Lancelot fought the griffin and when he stepped through the veil, Merlin was there. When the knights trained, Merlin was there; and when they left on patrols or hunts, Merlin was there. But when they died, when a hunting accident took Percival, when illness took the aging Leon, when Guinevere succumb to her age, Merlin couldn't help.

One by one, they died but Merlin was left behind.

He had to leave Camelot then, he couldn't stand to stay, not after everyone had left and the halls were hunted by his memories of them.

He'd told Gwaine once that one couldn't live life, drifting from place to place forever as he had. Gwaine had only laughed telling Merlin ' _Yeah, but it is fun trying._ '

So Merlin tried.

He left Camelot on horse with two saddle bags of everything he owned, and tried to outrun memories. It never worked, they always caught up with him at night around camp fires but Merlin tried. He saw more land than he'd thought there ever could be, he out paced his past in the sunlight, and embraced it's comforting sting in the night.

Alone as he was Merlin survived, and deep in the forests and unmapped wilds of the world Merlin practice magic in a way he never had before. He learned to work his magic beyond words, instinct, or reflex. He learned to wear it like a cloak and turn back his age to whatever he wished, he finally mastered healing, and his control was complete.

~X~

Between visiting towns and exploring the world Merlin grew older but he never died, he had been left behind.

One by one they had left him, then, one by one, they came back, Gwen was the first.

Merlin had been out, riding across the land and helping the people in any way he could now that his mastery of magic was complete. From an extra farm hand, to chasing away bandits, to healing the sick and hurt. It was how he dealt with the loneliness of being the only one left. Until he met Guinevere, or rather, the reincarnation of Guinevere.

So young, so small, but still she was Guinevere and the older boy yelling for her to come back inside and help was surely Elyan.

Suddenly Merlin knew he'd would be alone again for long. Leon and Gwaine turned out to live in the same town, Morgana and Mordred lived with a nearby group of druids and slowly, so very slowly, Arthur, Lancelot, Percival. All of them came to move to the same town. As if their hearts were pulled together by something stronger than gravity they came together the way they had once been, a lifetime ago, in Camelot seated at the roundtable. It wasn't Camelot, it was a small border town, but it began to feel like home.

It was in this small town that Merlin finally allowed himself to love. After Freya, and his destiny and Arthur Merlin spent his time in Camelot pointedly not falling in love. But, in the border town, with those close to his heart around him, he felt free. Free of destiny, free from fate and prophecy, free to love.

~X~

The first time Merlin loved was in Camelot with Freya, the second time was also in Camelot, it was as much a secret as his magic or Freya, but since fate had been in the way, since he had to protect Arthur, Merlin never acted on his feelings, never said anything. Merlin's second love had been Gwaine; and like his love for Freya, nothing came of his second love.

Merlin's third love was a like a recasting of the second as he fell back in love with Gwaine. Though they had never been through the same quests and adventures, though this Gwaine had grown up knowing a different life, there was something still so fundamentally ' _Gwaine_ '.

Falling in love with Gwaine the second time was just like the first for Merlin. It started slow, friendship grew to dominate his heart. Before he realized it Merlin couldn't stand to be without Gwaine. Like the knight were drawn together, Merlin was drawn to Gwaine. It was gravitational, he couldn't fight it because by the time he'd realized it, it was already too late. But even if he had noticed, Merlin could never be sure whether or not he would fight it.

But unlike the lifetime of wasted wondering in Camelot, Merlin didn't hold himself back this time.

Unlike the first time, when he had loved Gwaine in Camelot; Merlin acted on his feels.

Unlike the first time, Merlin learned that Gwaine's feelings were mutual.

Unlike the first time ,Merlin finally learned what it was like to kiss Gwaine.

It was bliss, there was no real danger, no quests, no kingdom to protect, no prophecy to limit him. Merlin was free from all obligation save those to his heart.

In that border town Merlin wasn't alone, Merlin was free, and he had Gwaine.

His days were spent tending the sick, his night spent with Gwaine who ran a tavern in the town. Arthur, forever a leader, once more stole Gwen's heart and soon found himself the unofficial leader of the town after having rallied Lancelot, Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan, over a dozen other towns folk, against a group a bandits. Like a song stuck on repeat Arthur once again married Gwen and Lancelot once more gave his life protecting his friends during a bandit raid.

Gwaine was there to comfort Merlin, but the hope of seeing Lancelot again in his next life did much to soften the blow.

For 15 perfect years Merlin knew what a happy ending was in that border town.

~X~

But Merlin called his life battolgical for a reason, and one evening, after a day of gathering rare herbs in the that grew deep forest Merlin returned home late. He came to a crowd at his door, Arthur, Gwaine, and Percival had been out hunting, they had mistaken a rustle in the bushes, had gotten between a mother bear and her cub. Gwaine had been the one to paid the price.

By the time Merlin had gotten home it was too late, Gwaine, _his Gwaine_ , was gone.

Though Merlin knew they would meet again, he also knew it wouldn't be the same; Merlin couldn't say whether that made it better or worst. Only that it hurt. It hurt to much to think properly, it hurt sharply, intensely, and almost numbingly. Without realizing it Merlin had been much more attached to Gwaine than he'd thought he'd been. It was only after losing him that Merlin became aware of how much Gwaine had become the center of his world.

There were words of comfort, caring embraces, and days that ran together.

For Merlin, he felt as if he'd returned to that time of solitude, the interlude between leaving Camelot and meeting a young Guinevere in the border town. The time were all there was for Merlin were memories of the home he'd had, the place with too many ghosts for him to remain there, were his world was barren and lonely, and he actually missed all of those exhausting quests and adventure Arthur would insist upon.

Like in Camelot before, Merlin saddled his horse and left.

Once he learned to live with his grieve, Merlin returned to the border town as often as he could. But after Lancelot and Gwaine had been lain to rest there he couldn't bring himself to linger. Merlin found he could neither stay too long nor could he stay _away_ too long, he still had too many friends that lived there.

But, one by one, they died and once more Merlin was left behind.

Once more Merlin wandered, looking for the next reincarnations of his friends.

And once more, Merlin's life proved itself to be battolgical.

Once more, Merlin rode into a new town where he saw a young Lancelot, a lad no more than 16, trading smiles and jokes with with a young Guinevere.

Once more Merlin dawned his magic like a cloak, match his appearance to their age. Once more, like he had in Camelot, and in the border town, Merlin made a strange place his home.

It would be three years later when Merlin would cross paths with Gwaine, and once again, Merlin would fall in love with him all over again. Until the day that fate would once more take Gwaine from him. But until that day, Merlin would make the best of his time and he would wait for Gwaine.

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 **For starters, thanks for reading :3**

 **This is** **Chronologically** **the first part of my** **'B attolgical' collection, so far there is a second story: Regret. If you liked this 'Regret' is a lot darker, it's a Merlin and Mordred short, there is also a 1911 Merlin Gwaine fic coming and a modern day one as well in the works, Along with a tiny pieces of pure fluff. I'm hoping to get another short bit of this collection posted in a week or so.**

 **But all of that is neither here nor there! So, once more, thank you for reading, As always, till next time, ha dat bra!**


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